Why People Pleasers Get Hit By Trains

n the hit film Inception Leonardo DiCaprio plays a man who can enter peoples’ dreams to steal corporate secrets. At one point (spoiler coming) he enters a businessman’s dream and is driving down a city street in a parade of cars when a 300-ton freight train juggernauts out of a side road and smashes into the lead car taking vehicles, asphalt and everything else with it….

If you are a people pleaser, then not only are you in a dream-world where you think others control you, but you are also in that lead car. And each time you give in to someone and compromise your dreams you get hit…hard.

In this article I’m going to introduce several ‘truths’ about the mindset that leads to people pleasing, the repercussions, and what you can do about it to keep yourself ‘on track’ (and the trains decommissioned or left in the sidings). [Más…]

Truth 1:

It’s your train

Train, of course, is a metaphor for negative, unhelpful attitudes, beliefs and thinking patterns which ‘derail you’ from your chosen course of action. But unlike British Rail, or the New York Metro, you actually own these ‘trains’. I know it seems that they just career out of no-where and smash into your conscious but all that’s about to change. It’s time to apply the emergency break!

Try stepping back (mentally) and asking yourself:

* Do I have to tolerate this thinking pattern any longer than necessary?
* How long before I step up and take control of what I already own?
* Am I’m willing to claim ownership now?

‘People pleasing’ often comes from believing that other people have more authority than you; that when it comes down to the deciding vote between you and them – they have the final say. This is a thinking process often referred to as a meta-program – a set of instructions that operate meta – above’ – what you are consciously aware of. You can become aware of them, but most people don’t.

So unless you have taken ownership of your ‘train’ it will continue to ‘hit you’ without you knowing where or when to expect it.

Think of it this way. When you have a problem with someone else, when you call them a bully or an enemy your problem is not just with them. It is with your concept of them. You are classifying them and rejecting them according to your mental model of how they are behaving. Geddit?

Therefore, you have the power to reclassify people in your head. Recently, I decided I would not use the concept ‘enemy’ any more as it prevented me from looking at the situation objectively (I know all perception is subjective, but it helps me to think this way!)

As I did this, I remembered something I’d been taught: “People are not the problem, it’s the frames….” And remembering that all that stands between us is a difference of opinion and as a difference opinion doesn’t necessarily make someone ‘evil’ or someone to avoid, I feel a lot freer in my head. And I don’t hear the sound of a train approaching…!

Truth 2:


In the hit film Inception Leonardo DiCaprio plays a man who can enter peoples’ dreams to steal corporate secrets. At one point (spoiler coming) he enters a businessman’s dream and is driving down a city street in a parade of cars when a 300-ton freight train juggernauts out of a side road and smashes into the lead car taking vehicles, asphalt and everything else with it….

If you are a people pleaser, then not only are you in a dream-world where you think others control you, but you are also in that lead car. And each time you give in to someone and compromise your dreams you get hit…hard.

In this article I’m going to introduce several ‘truths’ about the mindset that leads to people pleasing, the repercussions, and what you can do about it to keep yourself ‘on track’ (and the trains decommissioned or left in the sidings). Leer más “Why People Pleasers Get Hit By Trains”

Box Office: Inception Schmacks the Schmucks

Leonardo DiCaprio in Inception
Melissa Moseley / Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

The dream goes on. Inception won the weekend box office at North American theaters, according to early studio estimates. Christopher Nolan’s labyrinthine thriller, starring Leonardo DiCaprio as the leader of a team that invades a man’s sleep patterns, earned $27.5 million in its third weekend. The film thus joins Avatar, Alice in Wonderland and Shrek Forever After — all movies whose protagonists fall or leap into alternative-reality dream worlds — in 2010’s three-time-winners’ club. Inception should cross the $200 domestic mark by Tuesday, and has already taken in $170 million abroad.


Leonardo DiCaprio in Inception

The dream goes on. Inception won the weekend box office at North American theaters, according to early studio estimates. Christopher Nolan‘s labyrinthine thriller, starring Leonardo DiCaprio as the leader of a team that invades a man’s sleep patterns, earned $27.5 million in its third weekend. The film thus joins Avatar, Alice in Wonderland and Shrek Forever After — all movies whose protagonists fall or leap into alternative-reality dream worlds — in 2010’s three-time-winners’ club. Inception should cross the $200 domestic mark by Tuesday, and has already taken in $170 million abroad. Leer más “Box Office: Inception Schmacks the Schmucks”

Top 10 Twitter Trends This Week [CHART]

Christopher Nolan’s sci-fi thriller Inception (staring the palpably handsome Leonardo DiCaprio) nabs the top of the Twitter talk chart for the second week in a row.

What else is up in the Twitterverse? Talk to Brazilians. Their tweets about football, celebrity gossip, and Sylvester Stallone’s off-handed comments at Comic-Con took home the lion’s share of the trends this week.

Check out the stats below for the full skinny, lovingly collected by our friends over at What The Trend. Because this is a topical list, hashtag memes and games have been omitted from the chart.

You can check past Twitter trends in our Top Twitter Topics section as well as read more about this past week’s trends on What The Trend.


Matt Silverman

Twitter Chart ImageChristopher Nolan’s sci-fi thriller Inception (staring the palpably handsome Leonardo DiCaprio) nabs the top of the Twitter talk chart for the second week in a row.

What else is up in the Twitterverse? Talk to Brazilians. Their tweets about football, celebrity gossip, and Sylvester Stallone’s off-handed comments at Comic-Con took home the lion’s share of the trends this week.

Check out the stats below for the full skinny, lovingly collected by our friends over at What The Trend. Because this is a topical list, hashtag memes and games have been omitted from the chart.

You can check past Twitter trends in our Top Twitter Topics section as well as read more about this past week’s trends on What The Trend.


Top Twitter Trends This Week: 7/24 – 7/30 Leer más “Top 10 Twitter Trends This Week [CHART]”

With ‘Inception,’ did Warner Bros. sell more by giving away less?

You know those trailers that give away every detail, plot twist, emotional hook and big joke in the movie? You hate that, right? Then you were probably among the throngs of people who helped Inception deliver an amazing $60 million opening this weekend. A study from online ticket service Fandango, done before the movie’s release, found that 93 percent of planned Inception ticket buyers were “more intrigued” to see the sci-fi action flick because the plot had been kept under wraps. (The Warner Bros. marketing has been purposefully vague, and entertainment coverage hasn’t spilled any beans either.)


By T.L. Stanley

Inception

You know those trailers that give away every detail, plot twist, emotional hook and big joke in the movie? You hate that, right? Then you were probably among the throngs of people who helped Inception deliver an amazing $60 million opening this weekend. A study from online ticket service Fandango, done before the movie’s release, found that 93 percent of planned Inception ticket buyers were “more intrigued” to see the sci-fi action flick because the plot had been kept under wraps. (The Warner Bros. marketing has been purposefully vague, and entertainment coverage hasn’t spilled any beans either.) Leer más “With ‘Inception,’ did Warner Bros. sell more by giving away less?”

It’s Time For Microsoft’s Second Inception

If you’ve watched television at all over the past two months, you’ve likely seen the trailer for Inception, the new film by Christopher Nolan. The trailer is great, and the film looks like it could be even better. In it, Leonardo DiCaprio plays Cobb, a special agent whose job it is to construct dreams in order to lure people inside and take their ideas — a tactic they call “inception”.

“An idea can transform the world and re-write all the rules. Which is why I have to steal it,” Cobb teases at one point in the trailer.

For whatever reason, the film and that premise got me thinking about Microsoft. More specifically, about some of the recent stories about yet more internal struggles at the company and the complete and utter failure of the Kin. It seems to me that Microsoft created one of these inceptions once in the 1980s. And it led to the company’s greatest success: Microsoft Windows. Now I think it’s time for a second inception.

Before I get into that, a bit of history.


If you’ve watched television at all over the past two months, you’ve likely seen the trailer for Inception, the new film by Christopher Nolan. The trailer is great, and the film looks like it could be even better. In it, Leonardo DiCaprio plays Cobb, a special agent whose job it is to construct dreams in order to lure people inside and take their ideas — a tactic they call “inception”.

An idea can transform the world and re-write all the rules. Which is why I have to steal it,” Cobb teases at one point in the trailer.

For whatever reason, the film and that premise got me thinking about Microsoft. More specifically, about some of the recent stories about yet more internal struggles at the company and the complete and utter failure of the Kin. It seems to me that Microsoft created one of these inceptions once in the 1980s. And it led to the company’s greatest success: Microsoft Windows. Now I think it’s time for a second inception.

Before I get into that, a bit of history. Leer más “It’s Time For Microsoft’s Second Inception”

Tag, Tiger and timepieces


SARAH MCINERNEY

February 17, 2010

Formula One driver Clay Regazzoni was a Tag Heuer ambassador in  1974 and wore one of the original Silverstone watches.
Click for more photos
Formula One driver Clay Regazzoni was a Tag Heuer ambassador in 1974 and wore one of the original Silverstone watches.

  • Formula One driver Clay Regazzoni was a Tag Heuer ambassador in  1974 and wore one of the original Silverstone watches.
  • The new edition Silverstone watch. It will come in blue and brown  in a limited release of 3000. The price is $8795.
  • The dial of the limited edition Silverstone.
  • The back casing of the limited editon Silverstone.
  • Part of the Formula One ladies watch series, co-designed by Maria  Sharapova. This steel, ceramic and diamond edition costs $3595.
  • The Formula One steel and ceramic watch, $1595.
  • Tag Heuer limited edition Monaco V4, $125,000.
  • The inner workings of the Tag Heuer Calibre 1887 chronograph.

Tag Heuer chief executive Jean-Christophe Babin talks Tiger Woods, trends and timepieces with Sarah McInerney.

Commencing its 150th anniversary celebrations on the back of the Tiger Woods sex scandal might have made some executives at Tag Heuer nervous but there were positives and negatives to this association, the company’s chief executive Jean-Christophe Babin says.

Woods sits alongside the likes of actor Leonardo DiCaprio, tennis star Maria Sharapova and motor racing champion Lewis Hamilton as a brand ambassador for the luxury watchmaker. When the news of his car crash and the subsequent allegations of his multiple extramarital affairs broke, Tag Heuer, like Nike, stood-by the golfer.

Taking a position early and communicating this to the market, plus not relying on one celebrity for promotional work, helped to minimise the impact of the scandal on the brand, Babin said. Leer más “Tag, Tiger and timepieces”